Hope for the Hard Days

Tuesdays seem to be the most difficult. Though the morning was promising, today was the same. The kids were somewhat mellow as they shuffled into class. Still a little sleepy, they aren't usually fighting with each other before I call attendance. We made it through their arithmetic worksheets with surprising ease. I think we're finally getting the whole "left vs. right" thing down.

Two hours later I had already given 11 of them detention during recess. Admittedly, that method of discipline isn't very effective because when half the class is sitting on the sidelines, the other half is aimlessly wandering around wishing there were more kids to play with. So the ones being disciplined don't really get the sense that they're missing out on anything. And isn't that the point—making them realize that their disruptive behavior has resulted in their missing the most fun thing that has happened in the history of their young lives? So I will have to try something else another day.

I am open to suggestions for disciplinary measures, by the way. I have run out of corners for them to stand in.

At the end of the day there were six kids I had to deal with: one was talking during the lesson. When I told him to be quiet, he "shot" me with an air rifle. What am I supposed to do with that? Throw an air grenade at him? A few others had taken to using their erasers as projectiles. Their targets were often the backs of well-behaved students' heads.

Also, without fail, at least once during the day, a boy will make a defamatory statement in Arabic about another kid's mom. It's hard to regain control after the outburst that results from those incidents. Today was about average in that regard.

So yeah, this was one of those "how much would a plane ticket home cost?" days. Average days are hard and exhausting, but these are the ones that really discourage me. Talking to other teachers continues to reaffirm my belief that improvement is possible. Many have wonderful, creative ideas, and the veteran teachers here know my students well. I've gained a lot of insight into my kids' personalities and behaviors from asking questions of their first grade teachers. I've also realized that they're capable of achieving much more than I've been expecting out of them. They're just slacking off because it's more fun to mess with me. Clever, aren't they?

My students drive me crazy and make my life undesirably difficult, but each one has already won my heart. And ultimately, the goal in our time together this year is not really so that my life would get easier and they would obey more rules. God has much bigger plans. What a privilege it is to love them with his patient, gentle, tender, compassionate, selfless love. I do it very poorly most days. But somehow by the next morning, as I walk downstairs to the front lobby to gather my students before classes start, I'm excited about the new day's challenge and opportunities. I attribute it to grace from God in the form of short-term memory loss.